Real Men DO Drink Tea

(Posted by Paula)

Michael and I have been married for a year and a half. I knew it was time to confront our little problem. Our little drinking problem. Michael and I were sitting at the kitchen table one night after dinner, and the time seemed right for me to bring it up.

"Michael, we have a problem that really needs to be addressed," I said. He looked at me puzzled. I knew what he was thinking. He was thinking he was perfect, and there's no way he had a problem! (do I know my husband, or what?)

I continued. "You see, Michael, my love, I enjoy a glass of wine on occasion with dinner. And sometimes I enjoy visiting a winery and participating in a wine tasting, but you HATE wine...won't even let a drop touch your tongue."

"Yea?" was his response.

"And I LOVE to go to tea rooms and order wonderful teas or make pots of tea at home, but I can never drink an entire pot of tea along....but you? You won't even THINK about drinking a cup of tea and helping me out, and you HATE going to tea rooms!."

"Yea..." he said, the worry beginning to creep into his voice.

"Well, don't you see Michael?! We have a drinking problem!" I said. "I like to drink tea and an occasional glass of wine....and you DON'T! Can we remedy this?!?!"

He thought that was funny, not realizing that I was serious about coming up with a plan to get him to go to tea rooms with me.

It was at that point that I developed a plan to make him like tea. I was going to have a tea party in his honor and make him the BEST cup of tea he ever tasted! He laughed at first, until he realized I was serious. It was then that he stood up and walked quickly toward the door. But there's no escaping me when I have my mind set. I pleaded with him to let me just TRY to make a cup of tea that he would like. Reluctantly, he sat down with the look of a man who was none too excited about what was about to happen. In fact, he looked down-right miserable. I could see that the wheels were still turning in his mind to come up with a way to get out of this. I was persistent, though. I reminded him that we've only been married for a short time, and that it is important for us to expand our horizons and respect the interests of the other. His look didn't change one bit. But he sat there. At least he wasn't running for the door again.

I proceeded to grab the coffee pot and fill it up with water. "I'm not drinking HOT tea!" Michael yelled.

"Why not?!?!"

"Because it's HOT...and it's TEA." He replied.

I knew I could change his mind. I busied myself with making the tea. I grabbed a teapot, two matching cups, two of my cute sterling spoons, and the kitty creamer. It was then that I realized Michael had sneaked out of the room when I wasn't looking.

I called to him. No answer. I called again and again. Finally, he answered me. I begged him to come to the kitchen...that I had a surprise for him. He walked in the door, took one look at my little tea setting and turned around to leave. "Noooooooooo," I begged. "Just TRY it."

I poured a cup, added the creamer and sugar and sat it in front of him. I waited. He looked at it. He didn't try it. "Come on, Michael. Just one taste."

He looked at me as if he couldn't believe he was about to do, and he picked up the cup and stuck his tongue down in the hot tea. He sort of resembled a dog lapping at his water dish. "You know, Michael, you do actually have to get some of the liquid in your mouth to be able to taste it," I said.

So, he sipped it. He put it down. He said it was hot. He watched it cool. Finally, with a bit more begging from me, he picked it up and took a drink. He sat it down on the table, scooted back in his chair and put his hands on his knees, as if to say (without really saying the words), "I did it, now can I go?!?!?"

"Is that all you're going to drink?!?!" I asked.

"Uh..." He picked up the cup and drank more. Finally, as I sat watching him, he drank the rest of the cup.

"Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?" I asked. I knew that I had turned my husband into a tea drinker with my EXCELLENT cup of strawberry tea.

But, he told me that it probably wouldn't be on his daily menu. I did get him to later confess, however, that the strawberry tea wasn't so bad. That's a start, right?

But for now, I guess I'm doomed to drink tea alone at night...and visit the tea rooms without my husband. He actually said, "Don't you have some GIRLfriends who'll go to the tea rooms with you?" I told him that it would be more fun to go with him. He thought that was funny, too. I could just picture him lapping at the cup of tea while sitting in my favorite tea room, The English Rose. He'd be a lot of fun to watch!

So, since turning him into a tea drinker didn't work so well, I'll have to work on getting him to drink a glass of wine with dinner. That will probably be less successful than the tea experiment, but I'm willing to take a chance.

By the way, Michael says that by writing this, I've made him sound like a "pansy." I'm not sure what that means, but I've assured him that only REAL men, real MANLY men, drink tea. Please don't tell him anything different.